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Talking about your feelings and fears isn’t a sign of weakness or craziness or vulnerability. It says that you’re confident enough to confront your fears — and your boyfriend, in this case.You’re strong enough to simply say, “I’m bothered by the way you act when your ex is in town. But with one bad marriage already behind her, Nicole Kidman wasn't having any of that wait-and-see nonsense. Plenty of couples mark many milestones together before deciding whether to take the leap from dating to mating.
I love him and have always trusted him, but I don't know if his actions have made me insecure and we have an actual issue, or if it's the anxiety and our problems are truly in the past. Try as we might to wipe the slate clean, there are always smudges.
We have a great relationship and I do not really have any worries when it comes to us being together for the long haul — except he has a friend who he was very close with in high school and he still talks to her now.
She does not live in the same city as us, but when she comes to the city we live in, he will not make any plans with me, just in case she will be able to hang out with him.
Let’s be clear: Nobody’s problems are ever “truly” in the past — if, by “truly,” you mean completely. Whether it’s this relationship issue or your own anxiety, these aren’t issues that can simply be dealt with and dismissed, trashed and put behind you. “It’s not even past.” It’s natural for issues to linger.
It’s natural to for you to continue to be a bit suspicious or insecure after seeing evidence that your boyfriend was flirting with other women, even if you trust him. I guess what I’m saying is: Don’t blame your anxiety here.
It’s somewhat worrisome that he won’t even make plans with you when his ex is in town, but you say you trust him and know he wouldn’t cheat.