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16-Dec-2017 09:08

Overcoming anger problems requires much more than managing the emotional feelings and physiological arousal of anger, as anger management classes strive to do.

Eliminating anger problems depends on a choice of what kind of person you want to be - an angry, resentful person who struggles to manage negative feelings and arousal, or one who lives securely in your core value.

In your core value, you will act with conviction to achieve fairness, which is likely to be in your long-term best interests.

In anger you will devalue others - at least in your head - which is unlikely to be in your long-term best interests.

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The best you can hope for while angry or resentful is a temporary sense of self-righteousness.You experience a state of core value when you think and behave in accordance with the most important things to and about you.It includes a sense of authenticity (you feel genuine) and self-regard, which, together, lower self-doubt and vulnerability to threat. For instance, if it is important to you to be fair in your dealings with others, you will regard yourself well as long as you are fair, and feel guilt and shame when you are not.But the experience of these unpleasant emotions can be invaluable guides, if you use them like a gas gauge.

They tell you that your current state of core value is too low and that you need to fill it up, that is, act according to your deepest values.When out of touch with your deepest values, you are more likely to act on ego - how you expect other people to regard you.